When my kids were really little, and even as they get bigger, sometimes they come and crawl in bed with me at night, usually because they've had a bad dream and they’re scared.
Lately, it is the Lord who has been waking me up at night. Or at least that’s what I’m assuming. I usually wake up kind of randomly and then proceed to lay there with thoughts popping into my head. I do not tend to be one who is scared and anxious, but in the middle of the night, all of the scary thoughts pop into my head of things that could possibly happen to my children. I won't go into the gory details, but suffice it to say they leave me pretty shook up.
So I do all that I know to do. I pray. I thank God for them. I beg God for their safety and salvation and sanctification. I talk to God about the things I am seeing in them, the good and the not so good. And it’s during these times that I feel God’s nearness. I know that He’s there. I know that He’s listening. It’s as if He has crawled in next to me. Not because He’s scared. And not because He necessarily “needs” to be with me, but because He knows I need to be with HIm.
He knows that some days can be pretty crazy and hectic and I talk with Him sporadically, but He knows I need more than that. He knows I need to feel His presence. He knows my anxious thoughts, that apparently I’m unaware of during the day. He knows I need to ponder my kids and treasure them in my heart, and sometimes during the day, when sin is abounding in mine and their hearts, it’s difficult to treasure.
But in the early hours of the morning, before the birds have even begun to stir, He wakes me up so I can share my heart with HIm. I used to get frustrated about these early morning wake up calls, but I’ve learned they are not without purpose. They are an opportunity to spend time with the Lord and allow Him to comfort me. They are an opportunity to get a little more time added to my day, because sometimes there just aren’t enough hours in the day. They are an opportunity for me to share me fears and my gratitude with the Lord.
I usually drift off back to sleep, usually in the middle of a sentence, unfortunately. But the Lord is gracious with me. And I wake up a couple of hours later, hardly noticing the sleep that was lost, but noticing that my heart seems a little more full.
